Goodbye

How I wish I didn't have anything to post today.

I don't know how much I hate goodbyes. The thought of never being able to see someone again just makes me emotional. Of course that person has to be someone in my life duhh. Yesterday I lost a childhood friend. My childhood best friend. In fact, she was like the sister I never had.

It has been what, 8 to 10 years since I've last seen her? I used to just show up shamelessly in front of her house (she just lives opposite my old home) and she'll invite me in with open arms, maybe called her a little too many times a day (that when the phone bills come I'd be most guilty of), play around the neighbourhood almost everyday with two other friends. Then she shifted home and we lost touch. We went to the same high school though but she was 3 years my senior and we had different sessions so there was literally no way of bumping into each other.

I remember doing so many mischievous things together with her. To name a few, we plucked our neighbour's unripe mangoes from their tree and threw into other neighbours' homes, rang the doorbells of every house in the lane and ran away to hide, threw stones at people (to the past victims, seriously I'm so sorry for that, we were young and stupid), burn newspapers and dump them into the drains and some other stuffs I can't exposed because I'm sure I'd be detained by the police and spend the next few days or months in jail. She was my partner in crime. Man, thinking of it, I used to get into so much trouble lol. Those were the days :') She's definitely not the best influence but we had real fun. Fun that we'll never get to experience again. We were unstoppable.

Well yeah, lost touch with her for years. I do think of her from time to time. I tried searching for her Facebook account countless times but miserably failed. Just one month ago I was randomly looking through my unattended friend requests (I really don't know why I did maybe God didn't want me to hate myself), I saw one that looked so like her so I asked my brother if that's her and indeed that was her. She had been on my friend request list for quite some time (I usually don't approve requests from people I don't know) and I didn't realize that it was her. Guilty guilty guilty!

But after I knew it was her I immediately accepted her request and looked for her on the Facebook chat and apologized to her for approving so late. We had a short and awkward conversation unfortunately. But better than nothing right?

Last night at dinner when my brother was scrolling through his Facebook he suddenly went Oh. My. God. Leng Leng passed away. That cold flipping statement got me so shocked I'm like what.....what...what...what?????????? Whyyyy????? How????? Whaaaatt???? Then he said that he doesn't know anything either, just that people were posting RIP messages on her wall.

Only this morning I found out how she died. My brain couldn't even process..

News here: BM, Chinese.

She jumped off the 18th floor of her apartment. When I read the news stating that her head got smashed and brains scattered due to impact, I was too overwhelmed for words. Of all things I was pondering about how she died last night, I'd never imagine that she'd jump off the building. It is possible that there's a foul play but I guess we'll never know.. Sigh.

Her family is having her wake right now. I wanted to go and see her for the last time but my mom won't let me and my brother went with his friends. I hope she'll understand.

I'm thankful that at least I had the chance to chat with her on Facebook no matter how short the conversation was. At least she knows I'm fine and doing well I guess. I hope she finds peace in the afterlife. Yew Leng Leng, this post is dedicated to you. You'll always be part of my best childhood memories. Goodbye my friend.