Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Fake update

I don't get it. I don't update anymore and I have removed my blog links from social networks. But I still get occasional visits to my blog. Don't la stalk me, my blog posts aren't interesting. They're honestly embarrassing.

Like this meaningless one.
Thanks for your time.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013


It has been one heck of a journey throughout 2013. The year just literally pass right before our eyes. I can even remember what I did on the first day of January- I went shopping with mom and bought a dress pfft who wouldn't remember that. I can remember the Taiwan trip with my mom back in March (and the long agonizing countdown towards the trip) like it was only last week. I can remember how hectic the two semesters were yet how it felt so short, with heaps of eventful activities in between. Those memories are all still pretty vivid in my mind.

The last day of the year typically calls for a self-reflection. Much to my disappointment, I spazzingly failed to update this blog as much as I originally planned to for I have commitment issues. Overall though, I'm actually proud of my personal growth throughout the year. Not exactly sure how to put it but in a list because I'm organized like that.

1) Much more open to challenges, pushed myself to the limit and I got through!
2) Started enjoying my university life a whole lot more.
3) Became considerably a more annoying person- as in less shy, more talkative, straightforward and maybe, loud. This one goes both ways, good and bad.
4) I have enhanced my inner OCD goddess. This goes both ways too.
5) Slightly more outgoing. I'm still a home person.
6) More confident in myself. 
7) SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. Who am I kidding.
8) Exercising much more compared to last year (this and eating more junk came together in an inevitable package).
9) Doing more art! Amateur, but improving.
10) Baked more and some experiments with food. (In The Sims realm, this would be + points for cooking skill)
11) Still humanely evil. The keyword here is humane.
12) Found friends who brought out the best (and the worse lol) in me.
13) Goddamn, I've matured a lot my white hair is breeding on my head.
14) An even crazier chocoholic, I don't even know how this is a good thing.
15) Learned that alone time is quality time.
16) Got better at makeup. Kinda.
17) Learned to give more.
18) Figured how to refuse negativity.

Well that's all I can think of now. I may have changed but deep down I'm still that socially awkward wallflower. 

I am NOT going to write a thank you speech, but I am grateful to those who existed in my 2013. I don't have a New Year's Resolution. I've stopped doing them since 3 years ago because I never stick to them, like I said, I have commitment issues.

Honestly, if I could choose a year to relive, I'd definitely pick 2013. Yeap, the year I left teenage, became more comfortable of myself, pushed limits, break boundaries, revived from mistakes, attended my first ball, lost a dear old friend and got my sweet tooth a little out of control hehe. Goodbye, 2013 will be much missed. :)
Hello, 2014. I'm looking forward to mind-boggling events you have in stall for me! :D

Saturday, November 2, 2013

October ♥

I've got to say that the year have very much been crazy, exhausting, fun, exciting and a whole bunch of adjectives. But the month of October have been the most amazing at the most perplexing level. I'm not sure if I enjoyed it more than I suffered or suffered more than I enjoyed. I think it was probably an overdose of both.

So many things I had to sacrifice during the month. Mostly because I was involved in a national university campaign management competition which was really taxing.
1) I literally put a halt into all my assignments and concentrated only on this project.
2) Gave up loads of my sleep time.
3) Had to work on my birthday........................
4) Major miscommunications between friends.
4) Class dramas.
5) Spent less time at home.
6) Started abusing my caffeine consumption.
7) Skipping classes for a whole week (not that I'm complaining).

So much stress I felt like I've aged 2 years within a month seriously.
Regardless, it had been a wonderful experience. What I've learned throughout definitely cannot be bought by money. As of now, I'd like to take a rest from anything to do with this campaign until the Finale.

Well the month not only had a share of pain and tearful moments, but loads of wonders and joys came together in the bundle!
Besides the hectic event, there was dance, birthday celebrations and The Grand Ball.

1) Dance: learned a new genre, yay!

I have started learning contemporary dance recently. At first it was only for the fun of learning since my friends were more than willing to teach me. Then I got involved in the performance for The Grand Ball. I thought it would be really challenging to do something out of my expectations. To be honest, I've never imagined myself doing contemporary dance because I'm such a graceful duck. So yeah, went for it and regretted nothing.

One of the most painful process, besides the foreseeable bruising, is that I sprained my toe real badly. I'm not exactly sure what it was but that freaking toe swelled up and it was twice the usual size. I actually thought I fractured it but apparently that was only my ultimate paranoia at work. So I walked like a disabled person for a few days until it didn't hurt that much anymore. As of now, it's still a bit thick, inflexible and ugly.

2) Birthday surprises

My birthday so happen to fall on the most hectic week I've ever had this year, probably my whole life. Wasn't really in the mood of celebrating my birthday at all. I was actually hoping that I could postpone my birthday lol. Unfortunately.

Yes, despite that I had to work half the day for the campaign, my groups of friends managed to brighten up my day. After my dance practice they brought in 3 pieces of chocolate brownies, which was put together in a way it looked like 3 blocks of brown cubes to supposingly form a cake? I really don't know what they were trying to achieve there lol. Then I had a very noisy and impromptu birthday song from the SDC people. I was really overwhelmed honestly. My favourite part though, was sharing the brownies with them. Watching people eating the brownies happily made me really happy too hehe!

I got home, tired but happy (feeling gluttonish too for eating so much chocolate!). Took a shower and thought I should really do some updating for the campaign and then get some rest. Then my brother said there was a package downstairs waiting for me to sign. Smelled something fishy, I took a quick change of clothes into something decent. I mean, which freaking postmen in their right mind delivers a package at night that requires only me to sign, brother?

Went downstairs and everything seemed pretty peaceful and they suddenly emerged from the kitchen and the room with a birthday cake. Holy crap. Thank the lord I changed my clothes. All 11 of them bombarded my place. My house neighbourhood have never been so noisy hahaha! Then they kidnapped me out for dinner, though I already had mine and even brushed my teeth lol.

Man, it was a good day. Great company, high dosage of chocolate, successful surprises, minus the exhaustion. So thankful to have them in my life. I don't know why my friends spoil me so much I feel burdened lol. Nevertheless, I've never aged so well. :')

3) The Grand Ball

It was my first prom/ball. Actually went in there for free since I was performing except that I just don't get a table. So we took the opportunity to dress up! It was really nice to see so many people dolled up and handsome in suites. Everyone looked so damn good.

Since our performance was right in the middle of the event, we had to go through the trouble of changing. While on standby I was really nervous (since there were chances of me falling at one point), I started to hyperventilate. I just couldn't keep still even though I know I should be conserving my energy. And oh my god, it felt like we were on standby forever and the performance was just merely a breeze. Made a little mistakes here and there but I guess it was acceptable lol. I was actually pretty disappointed that it ended so fast.

Changed back to our dresses and suits, had our photo sessions with the crazy gang. So many recorded memories :D After party was at Bumbung, didn't know why but I followed anyway when my energy level was at 5%. I lost count of how many times I've yawned throughout the 2 hours, it's probably a Guinness record number. By the time I was driving home it was already at 2.30am-ish. My second time driving home at that time woo!

Reached home, removed my makeup, changed clothes, didn't bother to bathe (or brush my teeth). I just fell into a coma on my bed.

Sunday, September 22, 2013


I had the most vivid dream experience yet this afternoon. It was so strange and cool at the same time because I was half conscious and half dreaming. I have no idea how it happened but here's how it goes.

I remember laying belly down on my bed as I drifted to into my dream. I was pretty exhausted though I wasn't really sure why- it was 4 freaking pm. The dream came in gradually while I was only half asleep. I was still aware of my surroundings at that time, including the sound of my fan.

In the dream I was in my car, leaning my face on the steering wheel helplessly (because of my exhausted state), at the same time it only felt like my pillow. Somehow the car was reversing at a pretty fast speed but I was too tired to care if I die or not because I knew it was only a dream. To be honest I was expecting to crash into something from the back and I was actually anticipating it but unfortunately I couldn't initiate the crash because I wasn't mentally strong enough to navigate my dreams.

Then suddenly water burst out at the front of my car and for a moment I was thinking holy crap did I just ruin my car??? Then I remembered I was only dreaming lol. All of the sudden my car went into a lake or something. I only know my car was in brownish water and I was literally staring at it because those water texture looked so damn real.

Then I shook myself awake because I chicken didn't want to experience drowning.


Another incident a few years back. I really wasn't sure if it was a dream because I know my eyes was open and I was pretty conscious, the only thing was I couldn't move at all even though I tried so hard. After a while I gave up and my surroundings seemed to be getting darker and darker then the surroundings' lighting starts flickering. I can see my room flipping to and fro from dark to slightly brighter for about maybe 2-3 minutes. *I'm so bad at describing.*

Anyway I was so in a panic mode because everything seemed so damn real I thought aliens were invading earth LITERALLY. I was imagining all sorts of stuffs like alien torturing us, how we're going to work as slaves for them, what cool tech they have and err....main point is I thought I was going to die.

When I regained my movement I quickly took my phone and called my brother...who was sleeping in the other room. I can't remember what I said to him but I think I asked him what's happening and where he is etc. He sounded as confused as hell. After the call I calmed down and reflected on my stupidity and laughed for a bit. I felt bad disturbing his sleep in the middle of the night when he was having his SPM papers in the morning. I wonder if he remembers this haha!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Delayed Post: Moving On

Something I wrote weeks before but never actually published. Felt like it would be throwing away good food if I had deleted this and not post it up so...

"I just wish it didn't have to end.

I'm two days away from my new semester, thus, the end of the holidays. It is an avoidable and painful break up. But it's for the better.

The new semester marks the beginning of the other half of my degree life. Three more semesters and I'm done. Out into the bare and cold labor world. I have yet to succumb to the fact that my life as a student will be over so soon and to the fact that I'm going to have to take full fledged responsibilities as an adult so soon.

I'd like to stay with my parents forever. Lol, never mind.

Gahh, my laziness is kicking in. I'm so unready to go back to my study life. I worship my past self for surviving this far. Still wondering how the hell I did it but I guess I'll just have to get used to the routine again and take things more seriously this time because I don't just want to graduate. I want to graduate with pride."

Last sentence. Let's see how long I can keep up with it.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

SDC: Genesis

I know my last post have been almost a month old, well I'm not sorry for being such a lazy prick. I shall redeem myself with a long post.

My post-finals life have never been so busy yet meaningful, fulfilling and productive. That's in terms of self-achievement though. In terms of house chores and room cleaning productivity.....let's just say the dusts managed to extend their stay in my room.

Before I continue; Disclaimer:-
*This will be a pictureless post, just bear with me lol.
**Now you know how lazy I really am.

Right after finals my scheduled was filled with the Annual Dance Production activities. We had practices almost everyday for more than two weeks. It was tiring but I regret nothing. Well maybe the part where I didn't get to accompany my mom at home much.

The 4th of August was indeed a memorable day although I started the day as the most unfreshest zombie alive- what. Couldn't sleep the night before because I was too freaking excited. Probably slept for only 5 hours. Even so, it wasn't deep sleep.

Had our final rehearsal in the morning then I went all the way back home just for a shower even when I wasn't sweating just because I had to. Went back to uni to help out and jakun around a bit because the lighting setup was amazinggg!

Then about 4.30pm we started to do our makeup. I tell you it was a disaster. I think I took a whole hour to complete my makeup and most of the time I was wondering what the heck am I doing to my face even though the process was pretty enjoyable. However, truth be told, I wasn't really digging how I look in so much makeup. Those stuffs make me look rather.....old.
Had fake lashes and the bling bling stuff on my eyes. My eyes have never felt so heavy before. Now I know how it feels like to be caked with makeup. So fuhreeking uncomfortable.

After that we waited on standby. Got to watch the first performance before I went backstage to mentally prepare myself. Their energy and charisma definitely gave me a boost of confidence and hype! Really enjoyed their performance.

So when it was one performance before my group's turn, I'm not gonna lie, I was shivering. Actually that's basically what I always do before performances and presentations lolol. It's routine. After the group before us finished, they gave us encouragement on their way out. Though it didn't help with my shivering, it made me feel somewhat better. Then the MC went on talking for what felt like forever I couldn't even concentrate on what they were saying.

Then it was the cue to go on the stage. Whoa that moment I got into character my nervousness was completely gone. Stage lights were blinding but the adrenaline rush I had basically covered up everything that was in my way. I was unstoppable. LOL. Like my sifu said, when we're on stage performing, somehow there's a feeling that makes you beam automatically.

After our first song ended we had one minute to change our clothes. I didn't have a problem with the timing just that I was more worried for my friend who would be the first to reenter the stage. So when I was changing halfway I quickly helped her zip her shirt.

And this shall be a partial confession. Sigh.

I helped her zip her shirt but I forgot to zip my pants.................................

Thank God my pants was quite fitting so yeah I don't think there were inappropriate exposures lol or at least I HOPE. Luckily I only found out after my performance so I didn't attempt to gracefully zip my pants on stage (that will look really awkward if caught on camera) or get distracted by it.

Enough attention on my pants. The rest of the performance went well. I was a little out of breath but managed to give my all. Was really proud of myself :D

After that we went to watch the rest of the show. Then there was a finale and and open dance floor, everyone was freaking high. It was the atmosphere of what seems like a club. But I can't exactly tell since I haven't been clubbing before.

Then there was the after party supper at Bumbung. To be honest I was contemplating real hard whether or not I want to go as it was already 12.30am after the cleanup and my mom already called me twice I had to persistently assure her I'll be home in one piece.

I went anyway. For the first time I stayed out so late. Feels nice to break the norm once in a while. The ride home at 2am was really cool too. Though I was a little worried driving alone at that hour partially praying I won't get stopped by the police, which thankfully I didn't. I've never seen the road so peaceful before.

Reached home around 2.30am, slept at around 5am because removing makeup was a bitch. This is why I hate wearing makeup.

I gotta say, my notable savior of the day was RedBull. It was my first time drinking that thing and at first it tasted like medicine but as I kept drinking it started to taste nice. I don't know if it's an effect from the drink that made me see everything so positively or it's just me getting used to the taste. Whatever it was, it definitely dezombified me. Felt like I consumed drugs lol.

All in all, the 4th of August was beyond awesome. Can't imagine my sem break life without this event. My stamina actually improved a lot. Not to mention, made lots of friends throughout this journey too. Apparently now it feels weird to not do anything. I need to find something to keep myself occupied and preferably not food. I've never felt so restless over the holidays before. I used to look forward to breaks so that I can sloth at home. Heck, I slothed at home for 4 months before and never felt the boredom. Now I can't stand having nothing to do.

Really proud to be part of the event. Definitely looking forward to the next project. I shall spend my days reminiscing the night with a smile. :)

Monday, July 15, 2013


I'm back from my tug-o-war with the finals (it was actually just me pulling the ropes and only having a one sided love relationship with the papers) and trust me, it was no fun at all. I'm no longer aiming for my string of As anymore, it is almost impossible. Just an average of 65-70% will do to keep my scholarship. Sigh, life.

So my one month plus sem break begins. Back on track with the post title, absent-mindedness, just to share a funny incident that happened recently.

To tell you the truth, I'm not as blur as I used to be now. Though, sometimes my mind just wonders into space like that. One time I was waiting for the lift. There were a few people waiting with me and it took a while for it to reach. When the lift came, everyone else went into the lift except me. I was looking at the lift and those people who waited for me, looked at me wondering if I wanted to use the lift. I just stood there as I watched the door close. That was the time I realized I was supposed to go onto that lift and at that time I was smiling and thinking to myself there, there, watch your lift go like you did not wait for it. I mean, I didn't want to suddenly stop the lift and embarrass myself by letting them know that they've just witnessed a live scene of how the brain of the human could process so slowly, so yeah. I did not stop the lift. I just stood there and watch the world go by.

Eventually I opted the stairs. From what I retrieved from my memory, the floor I wanted to go to (the car park) was just one floor up so it would be a really quick walk through the dangerous path. Those stairs were scary btw, nobody uses it. A drug dealer or a perverted worker could be hiding in there, waiting for a potential victim. Or so my paranoid mind likes bothering me with thoughts. I know I should never take such risk but let's be grateful nothing happened.

I was so mad at myself for being wrong about it being only one floor up. It was actually 4 floors up. Memory failure 101. I thought of taking the lift on the next floor would be weird too if I bump into the same bunch of people who waited for the lift with me. Again, I didn't wish to be the victim of their inside joke. I have a dignity to spare and I can't bare being in the same lift with them knowing they might be refraining so hard from laughing at what a joke I am so I continued my miserable journey with those flights of stairs as the punishment for my shallow mind. My life is a joke.

On another unrelated incident a few years back, I remembered searching high and low for my glasses. Being without glasses already made me partially blind, and I had to look for it. It wasn't even funny. I searched all around the house and even asked my mom if she had seen it, no she replied. So eventually I found out it was resting on my head. It was a pretty tiny pair of spectacles so it was light as feather, that's why I didn't feel it on my head. Can't believe my mom said no when I asked her. It was on my head. How could she have not seen it when I was asking her!? Pretty sure this trait is genetic. No doubts.