Sunday, June 30, 2013

Driving (Part 2)

Sorry for my absenteeism, blame it on the shit university life has been throwing at me mercilessly.

I was torn in between the predicament on whether to dread about my current miserable study life or to write about what I have achieved for the past few days (which was nothing to even begin with) so I've decided to extend my previous post and story about an unfortunate event.

Like I said, I have neither been involved in an accident nor have I killed anyone with my driving skills so no, it was nothing serious.

What happened was I got lost. Well maybe to you it sounds like some adventurous de tour but definitely the otherwise for me. I tell you, it was like two hours of horror ride in a serial killer's car. I haven't driven anywhere further than my university just so you know.

It was back in November on the way to my friend's birthday party somewhere in Bandar Utama, I think. I was supposed to meet up with my other friends in SS15 which is just a few minutes away from my university so that I could carpool with them and I was pretty confident I knew where the hell SS15 was until I took the freaking wrong turn towards the OPPOSITE direction. Hooray!

Before I forget, luckily I had Lovania to go through this horror ride with me. Unlucky for me, she's a foreigner and she obviously know nuts about directions here. To top that, I have the worst sense of direction anyone can ever have. So our journey began.

I tried looking for a U-turn so that I could turn back to where I was supposed to go but and there was none. All I could do was to go straight and God knows where the road was taking me lol. It was 7pm and it was getting darker by the minute. I called my friends and told them not to wait for me because there was a higher chance for me to die in a car crash than to reach SS15 on time. I couldn't even ask them for directions because I didn't even know where the flip I was.

Thank God the petrol and my phone's battery was full. At least I could keep driving for another 300km in case.... I stopped at the side of nowhere to check on Google Map. It was my only hope. Keyed in the birthday girl's home and oh, that's really near. Or so I thought. I kept driving until I passed by one toll. Two tolls. Three tolls. At one point I was freaking out because the signboard says Ipoh. Mother of flippers.

It started raining and it started to get pretty jammed. Google Map is shit. At first it was okay until a point where it says turn right but there was absolutely no way I could turn right, unless I want to crash into the road dividers then yes I could actually turn right. It happened a few times and it kept recalculating routes. I was relying my life on you, bitch. The past few times I've used it with my parents it worked like magic. It had to fail on me the only time I was alone with someone who knows nothing about the roads here. Stupid prick.

I told Lovania I give up, can we just go home? Lol then I thought, who am I kidding?.... I didn't know the way home either. So we continued our miserable journey. Just to go to Bandar Utama, I've passed by a total of six tolls and places like KLCC, Damansara, Sunway Giza (in memory of my first ever flashmob), Midvalley and Ikea. I was actually wondering how the flip did I end up in Ikea. That was also when I realized Ikea is near 1U. I'm a failed Malaysian.

Stopped by the roadside and finally called for directions. I don't know if it's fated or what but there happened to be a friend of the birthday girl who has a GPS brain. I'm not kidding. She directed my from where I was to the house with exact details. And the house was in some deep deep place like HOW DID SHE KNOW THE PLACE SO DAMN WELL. I forgot her name but whoever you are, I worship you!!!

We ended up reaching 2 hours late hahaa. I didn't want to risk another round of horror ride so I tailed my friend's car all the way back to Sunway after the party.

What a great day.

Saturday, June 22, 2013


Tomorrow is the day my P licence expire yay. Can't believe it has been two years since I started driving legally. I remember those hard days they put us through the tests. Oh man, those days were hell.

Not to mention I had an instructor who couldn't speak English, a stupid bugger who went through the trial test with me and a bitch who sat with me through the test.

The only problem with my instructor was the language barrier. We're both Chinese, I'm a banana. We ended up communicating in BM. His speech is also slurred. Sometimes I just couldn't understand what he's talking about. He's a nice guy though, he forgave me when I turned the steering wheel a little too much and half the car went up the bumper then it started making noises. Oops. He was nice enough not to scold me. God bless his kind soul.

The stupid bugger who assessed me for the trial test though, is a bombastic idiot acting as if the world owes him shit. That bastard is probably racist. I just wish I could shove a shoe down his racist throat. I hope you're stuck with that job forever, a--hole.

The lady who sat through the test with me wasn't as bad. She was just a little mean. I don't really blame her though. I wouldn't have been in a good mood either if I was sitting next to myself driving. I mean I could just crash into another car and die anytime.

But that was all two long years ago. I haven't been into any accidents so far so, yay me! But of course along the way, I've forgotten to pull down the hand breaks, forgotten to switch on the headlights a few freaking times because I have an awesome pair of eyes (no I don't) and maybe accidentally stepped on the accelerator when I was supposed to step on the brakes a few times. Nevertheless, I survived.

My driving have improved so so much. The only time I suck at driving is when my mom sits next to me. I trust there is no further explanation needed.

Parking is a bloody nuisance though, sometimes I secretly wish I own a bike. That junk can easily be parked anywhere and it won't be affected by the jam or have to pay toll money. Imagine the amount of money I'll deprive the government from.

One thing I really enjoy about driving is having my private karaoke sessions in the car. Ahah! I'm no longer a bathroom singer. I've upgraded to a car singer because I have more audience. Lol, jokesss.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013


Today marks exactly a month since my first blog post. My baby is one month old now yayy! 15 posts (if I haven't deleted any) is an amazing achievement right? One month sounds like a short period of time but looking back, there's like thousands of things happened in just the span of a freaking month. I have underestimated time.

So for the past few days I've been so busy and pressured with my presentations (meanwhile my brother having the time of his life in Phuket). As for the first formal presentation (yesterday) of the semester, me and my group did a campaign proposal that revolves around an issue in front of 3 lecturers. Among the 5 groups, one of the group's proposal will be chosen (also will be getting the highest marks) to be carried out the next semester. So far two groups have presented.

The first group got shot down so badly by the lecturers and as we were going next, that definitely boosted our confidence (to the point of zero) as if we weren't nervous enough already. I was literally shivering my teeth off. Even the two natural speakers were sweating bullets wtf. Being next to present feels like being next in line for a jab. The reaction of the person in front of you is enough to make you shit in your pants.

The oddest thing happened though. The lecturers seemed somewhat interested in our proposal. They were giving advises and comments on how to improve but didn't shoot us down like the first group. That was a good and a bad sign at the same time because I sure as hell don't want my campaign to be chosen. For the first time I'm only aiming for the second best lol.

Well actually I don't think anyone would want their campaign to be chosen because then the group with the chosen campaign would have to lead the rest to make the campaign happen which would be a freaking burden. So as of now, I'm hoping at least one of the 3 other groups comes up with a genius plan that would make the lecturers cry rainbow tears. YOU GUYS HAVE MY BLESSINGS.

After our campaign proposal we had another presentation the following day (today). So I only had a few hours to practice my part, usually I'll have one or two days because I suck so badly in presentations. But it went well. I'm so proud of my improvement in presentations :'D I came into this course with presentations being the only thing I worry/fear the most. You must then be wondering of all courses, I had to choose the Communication degree right? I was a lost soul, trust me.

I remember during my high school days throughout the year, the only thing I was so scared of was presentations, although we only had two. I had a serious case of presentation phobia. HAHA! I can't say I'm excellent now but definitely made major improvements.

So, 2 done, 3 more to go then it's the finals. Yay (in the most monotonous tone).

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Confession #1

I might actually keep up with this confession thing. I'll post whenever I feel like I have something to confess, or if I remember anything horrid I did in the past that I'm willing to share. Heheh!

Okay here goes, my first confession here.

I cheated in exams.

Keyword- cheated. It's the past okay. I've never cheated since I entered university because I'm too chicken and there's absolutely no way to peek at my friends' answers anyway. Tables are too far apart and answers are all subjective. Fishing for other people's answers is as far as I go. I don't hide notes in the toilet for goodness' sake (although I'm always having the urge to). And btw, I said exams, not tests.

I remember once during my high school days I cheated in the final exam. My class' brainiest girl was seated diagonally in front of me to my left. I'm like, praise the lord. Particularly, it was the History's objective paper and it was literally the subject that occupy my brain memory the least.

Remember the OMR sheet where you colour your answers, yea that was the easiest to copy from. At first it wasn't really easy to see the answers because her body was sort of in the way. So I was a little frustrated. I did my questions, left out some that I was unsure. I think about half an hour before the paper ends she went to the toilet.

Holy Buddha. That was my ticket to success.

So her OMR sheet was lying so bare and naked on the table just like that, I can see all the patterns (as in all the answer) on the paper. Like who could resist something so bare and naked? So I did what I had to.

Funny thing was that I scored higher than her for that paper. It's like some impossible achievement unlocked. And I didn't even feel bad about it. I still don't. I mean when it comes to opportunity like this, just grab it right? I didn't care whether I cheated my way to it. I believe I've earned it. Cheating is a skill too. I'm an opportunist as long as it doesn't involve hurting people.

So yeah, that was one of the many paper I've cheated hahah! Don't judge me okay, you're not a saint either and you know it. :P

Saturday, June 15, 2013


Well hello. Things have been very hectic lately. This is the period when we are all rushing and panicking to complete our assignments. I have two presentations and report dues this coming Tuesday and Wednesday. God knows why we were scheduled to have such perfectly back-to-back presentations when I think the other groups are having at least one day break in between. My luck is really great these days. Maybe, just maybe, it's because I didn't send the chain mail 7 years ago.....


It has been one week. Thinking of it makes my heartache. Sigh.


So yeah I'm actually wondering if I'm ever going to survive the last few weeks of the semester. Degree life, why you so hard!? After this week we're presentation/dues-free for a week. Then the hell cycle repeats. That time it's worse. There's 3 presentations in a freaking week can you believe that. And it's the week BEFORE the finals. Mother flipping God. 

Okay compared to last semester, I actually learn stuffs this semester. There's only one subject I'm almost completely oblivious of. The last semester I was lost in almost all of the subjects to the point where I started questioning myself. Actually I was confused. I didn't know if the problem was me or the lecturers. But I'm sure it's the lecturers, I'm only mentally problematic, not mentally challenged. Wait wha-

Never mind that. At this point of time, paranoia is high. Skepticism and doubts about my capability as a supposingly diligent student is bugging me like hell. I take my assignments seriously. Sometimes when I see something go wrong, all I think is that I'm doomed to failure. Then I engage in panic mode. Then I enter to full focus and suddenly became a temporary genius and solve all my problems. 

Just kidding.

After the panic mode I enter some mood flipping stage. You know how the fishes flip here and there when they're out of the water and can't breathe? Yeap, just like that. So metaphorically complementing. Flip flip flip flip. I can't wait for sem break. I'm dying of accelerated aging. The brain cued the song If I Die Young. Reallyy?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Only after two days she passed away I broke down into tears. Probably only after two days I realized it's time to face reality. It's the first time I cried so hard after so long. I don't know if it's solely because of that or it's a combination of all the stress I'm experiencing lately. Maybe everything was bottled up and then I just emotionally exploded.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


How I wish I didn't have anything to post today.

I don't know how much I hate goodbyes. The thought of never being able to see someone again just makes me emotional. Of course that person has to be someone in my life duhh. Yesterday I lost a childhood friend. My childhood best friend. In fact, she was like the sister I never had.

It has been what, 8 to 10 years since I've last seen her? I used to just show up shamelessly in front of her house (she just lives opposite my old home) and she'll invite me in with open arms, maybe called her a little too many times a day (that when the phone bills come I'd be most guilty of), play around the neighbourhood almost everyday with two other friends. Then she shifted home and we lost touch. We went to the same high school though but she was 3 years my senior and we had different sessions so there was literally no way of bumping into each other.

I remember doing so many mischievous things together with her. To name a few, we plucked our neighbour's unripe mangoes from their tree and threw into other neighbours' homes, rang the doorbells of every house in the lane and ran away to hide, threw stones at people (to the past victims, seriously I'm so sorry for that, we were young and stupid), burn newspapers and dump them into the drains and some other stuffs I can't exposed because I'm sure I'd be detained by the police and spend the next few days or months in jail. She was my partner in crime. Man, thinking of it, I used to get into so much trouble lol. Those were the days :') She's definitely not the best influence but we had real fun. Fun that we'll never get to experience again. We were unstoppable.

Well yeah, lost touch with her for years. I do think of her from time to time. I tried searching for her Facebook account countless times but miserably failed. Just one month ago I was randomly looking through my unattended friend requests (I really don't know why I did maybe God didn't want me to hate myself), I saw one that looked so like her so I asked my brother if that's her and indeed that was her. She had been on my friend request list for quite some time (I usually don't approve requests from people I don't know) and I didn't realize that it was her. Guilty guilty guilty!

But after I knew it was her I immediately accepted her request and looked for her on the Facebook chat and apologized to her for approving so late. We had a short and awkward conversation unfortunately. But better than nothing right?

Last night at dinner when my brother was scrolling through his Facebook he suddenly went Oh. My. God. Leng Leng passed away. That cold flipping statement got me so shocked I'm like what.....what...what...what?????????? Whyyyy????? How????? Whaaaatt???? Then he said that he doesn't know anything either, just that people were posting RIP messages on her wall.

Only this morning I found out how she died. My brain couldn't even process..

News here: BM, Chinese.

She jumped off the 18th floor of her apartment. When I read the news stating that her head got smashed and brains scattered due to impact, I was too overwhelmed for words. Of all things I was pondering about how she died last night, I'd never imagine that she'd jump off the building. It is possible that there's a foul play but I guess we'll never know.. Sigh.

Her family is having her wake right now. I wanted to go and see her for the last time but my mom won't let me and my brother went with his friends. I hope she'll understand.

I'm thankful that at least I had the chance to chat with her on Facebook no matter how short the conversation was. At least she knows I'm fine and doing well I guess. I hope she finds peace in the afterlife. Yew Leng Leng, this post is dedicated to you. You'll always be part of my best childhood memories. Goodbye my friend.

Saturday, June 8, 2013


I've been doing a good job keeping my blog constantly updated right? Of course I can't be blogging everyday. It's not like random shit pops up and I'll be oh hey~ I'm so gonna write that for nobody to read! Well actually that happens, just that as soon as I have the chance to write, every brilliant idea I had went into some secret hideout somewhere in the corner of my brain like it doesn't exist wtf. I don't live in a storybook or a drama so my life ain't that interesting that I have stuffs to write about each day.

I'm curious for how long I can keep this up. I'm starting to get less ideas to write about these days lol.

Keeping this blog a secret is so agonizing you know. No you don't. Would be cool to have a fixed audience, not just random passerbys. Having actual readers would give me the motivation to update more often *I think*. Downside is I won't have the balls guts to be as open as I am now.

But then again, I can't reveal my blog now, I mean look at the mess I've made unleashing anger on my friends and shit. All hell will break loose when they read this I swear. They'll skin me alive, tie me onto an iron rod and barbecue me omg. Therefore I conclude, it's safer for the world that this blog remains private until I say so. Honestly, I don't want to be the cause of World War 3 and put Hitler to shame.

The blog not meant to be public now anyways. I mean look at this piece of crap. I don't even have a layout lol. Well actually I'm loving the white so until I give a damn, this is staying as it is boring or not. My words are interesting enough (ha-ha) so as the saying goes, don't judge a book by it's cover. I wouldn't blame you if you did though, the first impression is the most important whether we like it or not.

Oh well, that's about it today. Was about to apologize for the pointless update then I suddenly realize the pointlessness of that sentence would override the pointlessness of this post *what am I talking about*.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


Back with a post as neutral as a neutron! Okay lame. My emotional roller-coaster ride phase is over. I hope. Saw the biggest rainbow arch yesterday. Maybe it brightened up my mood. :)

Not really sure why most of my readers are from Russia. Probably my blog was the preferred blog to sort of show up when clicking the "next blog" thingy in Russia. Haha, but if you even bother reading my post- HI! or привет! I think your language and people are cool. :D Say, my ex-classmate is studying in Russia, he seems pretty happy there.


"My room's light isn't working, it keeps flickering on and off. This is so frustrating and annoying." 
Apparently as I was typing that complain (also after my experimental slamming of the door), my light stopped flickering as if it's reading this. Freaky.


Anyway, does nobody ever blog anymore? I'm bored. I want to read about someone's life. Exciting, boring, miserable or happy, just anything. I don't mean just anyone though. There's thousands of strangers' blogs out there but I prefer to read the blogs of people I know. There used to be a blogging era when almost all of the people my age has a blog. I guess those were the days.

So actually I was briefly looking through my *second* old blog, it was so boring I couldn't proceed.. I read a part about my life in Ausmat back in 2011. All I wrote complained about was exams, subjects, assignments, and me dying for a holiday. Yes, Ausmat is one hell of a hectic and holiday-less course. Plus at the time I had issues making friends and spent most of my lunch time eating illegally in the library because I had nobody to go lunch with. So sad and miserable right? I don't know how I survived that freaking 10 months of hell. It was so bad that I actually believed that I was paying RM20k to mentally suffer. 

Oh well, the past is the past. I can't travel back in time and console my poor 18 year-old self and tell her it's okay to feel not okay right, I wish. That was my worst year in my life. Totally killed my confidence and self-esteem. Times were bad, but I've learned and matured from it, thankfully.

Sorry for the directionless post. My mind was itching to update this blog.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


It's amazing how the way of thinking can totally change one's day.

Remember my previous post? How I was so furious and cursing and bitching and stressed and a whole lot more of negative feelings due to my assignments just yesterday. Funny. Today I woke up with a different perspective and I saw a brighter future....

Lol, I mean I realized that I was stressing over petty things. Okay they're not exactly petty things. Anyway my point is, I told myself it's alright, I WILL MANAGE THIS. So I started with my assignments rather than emo about how miserable and screwed up my life is right now. Managed to complete an outline/guideline for my groupmates to make their our lives less miserable and also so that they don't go out of topic (they have a tendency to do that without realizing). My groupmates are so lucky to have me right, I know.

Felt much better after doing so. I love productive days!

Speaking of which, I did realize my mood swings. One moment I can see the world come crashing and folding on me like it's time for the grim reaper to pay a visit, the next moment my world is filled with rainbows and unicorns and flowers and all the beautiful things.

Sometimes I brood into my thoughts wondering if I'm actually bipolar. My lecturer once called me bipolar but I guess she was joking. Or not.. Apparently my friends call me bipolar too, holy shit maybe I AM bipolar just that I don't know it because usually mental patients don't know that they're sick D:

No. I'm sure I don't have split personalities. Bipolar just happens to be a convenient overstatement to explain my situation. But well, I guess somehow, in a way, on the other end of the rainbow, in a parallel universe, I can be considered as bipolar due to my weird mood swings. I sincerely apologize to my potential victims in advance. I need to get my shit straight and fix my temper or I'll end up with no friends. Zero. And die as a miserable loner.